About Me

My photo
North Somerset, United Kingdom
My parents were worried when I ran around with scissors – now I play with fire and (intentionally) break glass! Based in the beautiful South West of England, close to the sea and often the scene of beautiful sunsets, I am inspired by the countryside around. Working with sea glass collected from remote beaches, soda lime glass from Murano, Italy, Europe, USA and beyond, I create artisan beads, for use in my own jewellery or for you to enjoy in your own creations. But I couldn’t stop there; continuing the theme from round rods to flat sheets, mostly from the USA, I break large sheets of transparent, opaque, multi-coloured and dichroic glass into much smaller pieces to make a kiln-formed range of bright, colourful jewellery and home decoration. Each piece I make is individually designed around the shape, size and beauty of the materials and intended to be unique, wearable, usable and affordable. All my glass work is kiln annealed for strength and durability and designed to give pleasure for years to come.

Friday, 13 December 2013

I'm the cat and I've got hyperthyroidism

No wun tells my tail, so I will tell my tail insted.  I am Charlie, sooper cat extrordinair.  I liv wiv too hoomans who is bizzy rite now, I liv wiv my bruvver Ted too.  That's him there.  He is shy, he hid his face.  He sez he don't want the publissity.  

Beeing a cat, I can't spell well, but Mrs hooman sez I can play on her pooter and rite this.  She is bizzy with her work.  I like her pooter mowse, but it duznt sqeek like the wun I brought her this morning.  She sqeeked like the mowse, she scerred it to def, it was working wen I poot it on the kichen flor and then it stopd wurkin.  I have big paws, so sumtyms have problems with the black plink plonky and my claws get stuck in the gaps.  Then I get thizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  So stay wiv me, I will tell yoo my tail.

Mrs Hooman takes me to see the vet a lot.  I eat lots but I looz wayt.   It upsets her and I tell her give me maw food and I will be big.  I think she gives me maw than Ted, becos Ted eats my dinnr and I eat Teds.  I no fool, she is up to sumfink.  Vet makes me stand still, stix a needle in my neck and takes blud.  I wish he get his own blud and not take mine.  He says my T4 is rong, bet my T1, T2 and T3 are purrfekly rite, but no, make a fuss abowt the wun fing that iz not rite.  So I hav pillz. I no fool.  She putz my pill in the midl of sum soft cheez so I lik the cheez off her finger and leev the pill.  She givs me more cheese he he, I leev the pill agayn.  She then putz the pill in my mowth and i spit it owt.  We play this game for owers.  Wen I had enuff cheez I swallow the pill, but not wivowt a fuss, I dont want to mayk this eezee for her. Then I hav my dinnr.  If Ted has left me enny.

This is Mr Hooman, he is not as owld as me, I am 14.  Guez wot, he has a rong T4 figure too.  He has the same pillz as me, ownlee mine is 15mg now and his iz 10mg.  Mine is bigger than hiz, na na nena na.  He is a ginger too, perhaps ginger toms get rong T4.  It must be wot she feeds us.  Perhaps she feeds him my cat biskits too, it must be her.  I will ask Mr Poirot.  But she lyks Mr Poirot, perhaps he will be on her sid.

I eet my dinnr off a tray from Sandringham Howse, it is a big howse and qween livs there.  I don't know who qween is, I look and it is not in my rowed.  Perhaps Mr Hooman knows qween too, Mrs will not be happy if he stayz with qween as well as her.  Norty Mr Hooman!  

Beyin a skinee cat now I get cold.  So I sleep in my bed with lots of blankets and warm my feet on the hot wall.  If the hot wall is not hot I compayn wen she comes home until she pooshs the thing on the wall to make my hot wall hot agayn.  I have to conserv my ennergee.  Sumtims I snoor.  She is horrid to me, I do not snoor, she just sez that to me and Mr Hooman to upset us.  She is not nise perzon, she taks me to the vet.

Mrs Hooman sez she nids to no wot is goin on, she always sezzing wot is goin on hear?  So me and my bro Ted sit on the wall and wach wot is goin on wiv next daw.  Uwshally not a lot.  Next daw had a big dog, it was scared of me so the dog left and took its hoomans wiv it and the new hooman dusnt have a dog.  Or a cat.  She has little hoomans.

Mrs Hooman has a biznis.  She spendz a lot of time in my gardin but sumtims she taks picturs of wot she maks in her wood howse in my gardin.  This iz me checkin out the thing she taks pictures in, just checkin for mowses.  She got cross becos I left it with ginger hair, but I fort that the blak stuff woz boring and ginger woz betr.

I tired now and nid a snuzz. I tell yoo maw abut me anuffer day. She wont to look at sumfink in her Etsy shop and best go befor she nowtisses that her plinky plonky thing is stickee wiv my lunch.  We had owshun feesh patay or sumfink, but I pooshd the bits togever wiv my paw so as not to miss any of it as I lyk this won a lot.  My fayvoreet.  But my paws is a bit sticky.  And fishy smelee.  If yoo wunt to no abut her beeznis yoo can see it hear - she rote it on paper for mee so I spelz it rite.  She sed if I got it rong you wud look at anuffer bizniz and I then thaird be no cat biskits.  It is www.etsy.com/uk/shop/BlueBoxStudio - that is a lot of / and . wen you have beeg paws as they iz neer to ich uffer on the plinky plonky.

Happee snuzzes too yoo.

^. .^


No comments:

Post a Comment